Keflavik, Iceland (sh*t hole!)
Bandarískur hermaður leysir frá skjóðunni og segir frá dvöl sinni in KEF-City. Viðkvæmum föðurlandssinnum er vinsamlega bent á að lesa ekki lengra...
In Iceland, you had to be a First Class Petty Officer or above to stay out partying all night without observing the curfew. The Icelandic people were afraid of us ugly, brutish Americans corrupting their pure Icelandic culture and ravishing their innocent women. I don't know what these people were paranoid about since it is common for Icelandic fathers to bed their daughters (no kidding) and kids become sexually active as soon as they're old enough to pee. The Icelanders boasted the highest literacy rate of any "civilized" country. Yep, even four year-olds can read the directions on the contraceptive devices. What they don't tell you, however, is that they also have the highest alcoholism rate of any "civilized" country, including the former Soviet Republics. More fruits of socialism and political correctness.
The other thing the Icelandic people did to show their appreciation of the NATO forces stationed on that rock they call a country is crank up the fish carcass burning plant every morning about chow time. So as soon as you walk out of the chow hall with a belly full of good omelettes, grits, whatever, you'd immediately deposit your chow right into a trash can placed at the exit door for that very purpose. The smell was so pungent that it would permeate the mucous membranes of your nose and, for the rest of the day, every time you picked your nose you got a re-whiff.
Did you know that there used to be vast forests on Iceland? It's a fact. But when the Vikings settled there, they brought sheep and goats with them that ripped the bark off all the trees. So all the trees died and now Iceland is just an ugly, strategically located rock, situated in the crossfire of historically battling forces. So, with the prospects for enduring peace and security at home historically dim, no sustainable means of creating a robust economy, and stuck with scavaging every last fish out of the North Atlantic Sea as their only source of industry, the descendants of the Vikings stayed anyway. Now how smart is that? I vote we use Iceland as a nuclear testing ground and put them out of their misery.
Hver fjandinn er að gerast þarna suðurfrá segi ég nú bara...!
Bandarískur hermaður leysir frá skjóðunni og segir frá dvöl sinni in KEF-City. Viðkvæmum föðurlandssinnum er vinsamlega bent á að lesa ekki lengra...
In Iceland, you had to be a First Class Petty Officer or above to stay out partying all night without observing the curfew. The Icelandic people were afraid of us ugly, brutish Americans corrupting their pure Icelandic culture and ravishing their innocent women. I don't know what these people were paranoid about since it is common for Icelandic fathers to bed their daughters (no kidding) and kids become sexually active as soon as they're old enough to pee. The Icelanders boasted the highest literacy rate of any "civilized" country. Yep, even four year-olds can read the directions on the contraceptive devices. What they don't tell you, however, is that they also have the highest alcoholism rate of any "civilized" country, including the former Soviet Republics. More fruits of socialism and political correctness.
The other thing the Icelandic people did to show their appreciation of the NATO forces stationed on that rock they call a country is crank up the fish carcass burning plant every morning about chow time. So as soon as you walk out of the chow hall with a belly full of good omelettes, grits, whatever, you'd immediately deposit your chow right into a trash can placed at the exit door for that very purpose. The smell was so pungent that it would permeate the mucous membranes of your nose and, for the rest of the day, every time you picked your nose you got a re-whiff.
Did you know that there used to be vast forests on Iceland? It's a fact. But when the Vikings settled there, they brought sheep and goats with them that ripped the bark off all the trees. So all the trees died and now Iceland is just an ugly, strategically located rock, situated in the crossfire of historically battling forces. So, with the prospects for enduring peace and security at home historically dim, no sustainable means of creating a robust economy, and stuck with scavaging every last fish out of the North Atlantic Sea as their only source of industry, the descendants of the Vikings stayed anyway. Now how smart is that? I vote we use Iceland as a nuclear testing ground and put them out of their misery.
Hver fjandinn er að gerast þarna suðurfrá segi ég nú bara...!
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